Last day…. surreal in so many ways… it really was only a morning of ……
And then… it was over. As quickly as it had started… it finished just the same. The center was empty, the rooms that had been buzzing for the past six nights felt lonely and the areas where the girls had come together and formed relationships were just that, areas. All of our hard work had paid off- the camp had gone off with a couple of glitches, but just minor ones. The project that we had talked to death was over….
it was done.
Which leads me to my funk. Although I have been a little more busy, I am still trying to figure out what this project means in terms of my service. I will probably never know that impact that it truly had- and that is okay. Sometimes life is better with ambiguity.
The tangible products of my doing that camp are:
1) I have developed stronger ties with many counterparts- gotten to know them in new ways and learned some of their strengths and weaknesses
2) I have new faith in my mudir
3) It is possible to do projects in Larache
4) I may have made some enemies in the delegation- whoops!
5) everything really is shwiya b shwiya (little by little)
6) I have experience in writing grants!
7) I already knew this but Tyler is an incredible support system and without his never-ending patience with my vents/outbursts/emotions, it would not have been possible
I feel like I should have more take-aways, but that is possibly the source of my funk. I am not sure how to think about everything or how to go about the reflecting process. This is the biggest planning thing that I have ever been apart of- that the volunteers were COMPLETELY in charge of- without us, it literally would not have happened. If I just take a moment to let that sink it- it is a wonderful/overwhelming/crazy feeling. So… as I attempt to start a new project I will treat the feelings of success with humility because the next project is different, the expectations are different, I won’t have the direct involvement of other volunteers as a means of support and well, the project itself is different.
Marching forward…. a little over 7 months left and attempting to live every day with vigor and excitement-without looking forward to going home TOO* much.